Hidden within a Promise

Many times in our life, we make promises, promises that we try so hard to hold true as if it is the essence of our faith. And as if signed off in blood, those of us whom believed in principles, believed in solemnity of a given word, will go way out to make and not break a promise.

Some of which are unspoken commitments; to our parents to care for them in their old age, to our friends to give them our support in times of need. These, needless to say, inbuilt from young, are explicit qualities of one’s character that are to be judged upon harshly when failed to fulfill.

While many look upon promises as sacred, many others with less than honorable intentions view its duty-bounding effect, exploitable characteristics, as means to their ends. Well, I would not want to discuss in details how it is done, lest I offend anyone. Just think suppressed low-key seductive voice.

Example: One of my ex girl-friend once ask me if I would love her… well, until when kingdom comes. And my reaction to that, pretty standard, a dumb founded look. And after 5 minutes, still a dumb founded look. No prizes for guessing why she is an ex.

Unable to make a connection there, love became a brittle and painful experience. Smart as she is, she is unable to see the futility of such expressions. How difficult would it be to say yes? Say yes and make her happy? But I question the lifespan of such facade happiness.

IF I say yes, I am essentially making a promise to love her till she dies or I die. How possible is that? At our tender age, we make lifelong commitments to take care of each other? Ridiculous. Hilariously ridiculous. Well, if I am not serious about relationship I would say yes. If I see her as just a challenge I would say yes. If I am looking for a quickie I would say yes. If I didn’t really loved I would say yes.

By saying no, it represented respect. Respect for love and for my partner. It represented serious thinking in the relationship. I was searching for something deeper. Not false pretense. Not lovey-dovey conversations. Not quickies.

In such situation, withholding promises effective translates into burden, false sense of rationality, and in time pain. Yet the most stubborn among us, may choose to keep them even it is plainly stated “To no avail”. Silly. Silly but brave, with a hint of strong character.

This may not be the best example to illustrate, but certainly give an overview of how close to life it is. And it does happens in all kind of relationships that we may have.

Next time, when the situation comes upon us to make such an ironic commitment, we best think, and we best judge. For being placed in those conflicting situation, with conflicting personality and principles, make hell of a messed up life.