What don’t you understand?

Irony that I am pouring over my books about conflict management. Irony that self control is my new found emphasis that I promise to instill in my life. Irony that my self-discipline, which I thought was strong, is actually as brittle as a stick, as cheap as my words.

Suddenly you make me feel that I am living in my own world, upholding values that you claim are overvalued, keeping principles you discarded, and reasons I gave out the window. And why should I have cared? Am I not that one treating you like a stranger walking through my life? Isn’t that me ignoring every single impact you bring as best as I could? Could it have been a problem with me as I see it in you? Have I cared? Or is it the frequency of the resurfacing problem is getting into my ass?

Maybe the problem is that I evolved my life around simple truths that you ignored. Blatantly. Almost like spitting right in my face. And that I can’t stand. I should have ignored you that way you did, ignoring me, if you crease to demolish my fundamental core that is holding my life together.

You told me you don’t understand. It is me whom you don’t understand? Or the stuff I say? I repeat myself here: Respect me. Be fair to me. Hands up, those who do not understand. Let’s keep count of those corrupted by the vileness of society.

I remember your tight smile. Do you look upon me and stuff I believe as reflection of immaturity? Are morals the stuff that we keep in a box when benefits are compromised? Is this what the society has taught you as it has taught me, though I tried to prevail? The lobbyist’s instinct, the flowery language, the impeccable manners and the smiling façade, isn’t that the corporate attitude I detected?

Are you not made known to this stuff I was talking about? In the many years of education we received? In the kind of traditional upbring we had? Or are you just procrastinating to your advantage?

* And yes, I am well aware that the context the words you said have been perversed slightly. Not to give me the winning edge but it is really the sentiment I derived.

You might be reading this right now and possibly fuming. Well I guess I reserve the right to blog/speak my mind as much as your right to be angry. Fair is fair *