Routine dulls the mind

Is this how I am going to spend the remaining of my days?

I woke up early today for work. With great effort, I reached the office in time. And again it was a Herculean task that I managed to prevent myself from appearing too hibernated during customary greetings, while chewing off breakfast I somehow managed to scavenge. I spent the reminding of the morning waiting for lunch and struggling in battle with the sleep demon. After lunch, I waited to knock off (while blogging), completing the day with scant victory against my mind fogging work… or rather the lack of.

Life becomes pretty much a sequential process: sleep, work, lunch, off work, repeat cycle. My inclination to the drinking table becomes self-explanatory. Brain-numbing work and the lack of sleep keep me from looking farther than tomorrow. Prospect of this inevitable work cycle in the near future is balls-shriveling.

There is virtually nothing to keep the spirit going other than financial incentive to beef up my savings for embracing the next drinking bout semester. Obviously, there is more to it (life), but not everyone gets it, certainly not me… yet.

I once seek advice from a man of higher learning, who promptly observed the lack of variety in my schedule. Work, blogging, drinking and gaming would not really make an interesting life. Busy yes, exciting no. But what else is there to do or be done? What will be more important than the bread, the work, and the bread, and the work? Tell me, so well inculcated by SGP education as we are.

Currently, (I consider to be) at a young adult age, with friends who are also busy with their own life, no girl friend = no sex, bogged down by the constant need to sedate myself with alcohol, a slave to the dollar, no (active) sports to enrich my life, no nothing. Ok I sound pathetic.

But still, I believe not so. I mean the above are just choices that I make (ok, no choice on the friends and girl friend part lah), not me, not who I am right? What is so difficult to revert them? No problem. Did I forget to mention that I am a lazy person? Very actually but it wouldn’t affect much now, would it?

Now, according to man-of-higher-learning, most appropriate resolution would be to do… something (what?) that I don’t usually do, something out of the norm… maybe. And to stop doing those that I always do, because it becomes a routine. And routines are borrrrrring. Ok with that in mind, let’s analysis.

Will life improve is I make the following changes?
1. Make new friends (or maybe change the existing ones)
2. Go get a girl friend
(inner voice : go get a life pal, stop doing those self-gratifying hand exercises!!)
(another inner voice: Nooo… no I didn’t!!)
3. Do some new stuff, sporty activities are preferred. (Advisable, with regards to my beer belly)
4. Stop playing DotA (……… sad)

No, I mean my friends are great but just a bit tad too expensive to upkeep, gauging by the incremental attribute of everyone’s birthday present and expectations (these few months are the worst!!!). Cost cutting should be done early for maximized cost savings, no? Well, that’s what the finance text says. Too bad we can’t put them all into the incinerator as and when we feel their time are up and further dealing is merely an act of façade interest. At least the fumes will not be poisonous. Just don’t throw in those tobacco-coated lungs, windpipes and intoxicated kidneys.

Girl friend is a touchy topic that I never like to touch on. Best left to the dogs more charming studs of the studs. I am just an average Joe forever perplexed about the way to perdition the delicately orchestrated love.

Sports will be intriguing… when I finally get off my ass and do the sport. Sea sports will be nice. It is seemingly more challenging and revitalizing than those that I participate sporadically. The sun, sand and sea will appeal to simple-minded but nevertheless sexy bimbos the seafaring spirit that is so well imbued during my nerve-wrecking patriotic service days in the navy.

DotA… will be a boring topic to you. It will just continue to serve as a little indulgence at this point of my life. until sex comes my way

Well, we can all try to improve quality of life, that’s what we all want isn’t it? To be happy, it is just a simple truth. But somehow it feels like fate will have its ways to maneuver its intent on our maneuvers. And when it does, we may find that resignation does have its merits.

Dollars and Cents

Sometimes I wake up to the feeling that I do not belong here in this world. I feel so out of place, so incapable of comprehending others. What I say, what I think simply convince others that I am positively daft... well a bit exaggerated but most will definitely find me to be eccentric. I tried, once before, to change my shape and blend to the surroundings, but a part of me stubbornly resisted, jagging in mockery of my consciousness.

Some like to say that I hold myself in high esteem. But the truth is my self-esteem is moving like a pendulum, there have been times that I crease believing in myself, crease believing in the positives.

In these times, I suspect someone had turned off the lights in my little courtyard. I failed to see my path, blinded by angry and distrust, harassed by a vague but persistent voice telling me to walk my own way out of these misdirections that people like to point out to me.

Directions that may be given with good intentions, but yet pointing in every single bearing, concealing the helpful with prejudice in its rendering. But yet it is the direction that I must take. Not a matter of choice nor faith. But by commitments, responsibilities, the cognitive effects of relationship that shrinks my inner self, how I perceive myself and what I eventually want to be.

Not the chosen path, but the path I will strike out on because I know it is the right path. Right because it is justified by greater sense of communal well-being, overriding more primitive desires.

By doing so, I fear my self-worth will soon depreciate into emptiness, and crease being defined by character or belief. Because this path that is chosen is significantly less spiritually fulfilling. This is a path that many took. This is a path over dreams and aspiration. This is the path that we may regret over but cannot revert. This is the path that gives stability but leaves loneliness to me as a companion.

This is the path of the million-dollar baby.

Taste of corporate life

Now working in a bank certainly accomplishes wonders. A sniff of the corporate culture. A fatter wallet. A nice comfy table and seat for me to do my blogging. Perfect.

But that's not all. In the matter of days, I seem to have become the new boy-toy in the office... no i'm kidding. Being a new guy-next-door(?) in the office seems to attract much attention. I almost felt that I was doted on. Free lunches and ice-cream are coming my way. I love office women, they are so warm and ... hot. And thanks to the severe lack of masculinity, I think I can look forward to many years of fervent career building.

But on the serious note, the gender ratio is severely sliding towards the females (wopee~ once again). And i wonder why. A rough estimate about the 5 females to 2 males maybe? That’s neglecting the aunties and uncles lar... We are talking about the young populace that we are hoping to be still sexually active after years of stressful working life.

Actually this phenomenon should come as no surprise to us. Generally there have been more baby boys than girls born in this country everyday since god-knows-when. And if this keeps up, we guys will have to endure painful accommodation and much hardship by simply having two wives? (wopee~ twice again and unsparingly)

Wait... hold it guys. Before you go into a frenzy and proceed to wank yourself over the keyboard... Please notice the emergence of the lesbians that has been titling the tides. With their more soft-handed, ardent and less conspicuous approach, you can count on them to be a strong contender on the race to propagate (?). We guys should brace ourselves and be better prepared for this chronic aggressor.

My, that is such a long digression. Let me focus. Working in a bank certainly accomplishes wonders. It made me realized that I might be having two wives.

* A little joke and observation. *